Text to buddies…

The paint smells light, its not as strong as when we painted the kitchen. I like the color…it reminds me of looking up at the sky on a clear crisp day. That’s the whole idea of the color in the first place and everyone loves it and if they didn’t oh well fuck who cares lol just joking. The smell of coffee is already in this place girl and we have not even installed our machines yet…it’s all in my head lol…but just think of the years of laughs that people will share in here hopefully not many tears…mostly happy ones I know magic will be made in this place come one come All Love you all…

Until we meet again…

All Maddison and Beth had left of their dad was the ashes that surround the metal frame her father’s bed once laid on. Tears started to soak a spot on the ashy floor that was once occupied by the only parents they ever known. Their home was no longer a crime scene after the three week long investigation that ruled out to be a murder suicide. Roberts mother with a cold look in her face collected her sons ashes from the coroners office and briefly walks out the door. “Here’s your father sweetie. You and you sister decide on whee you would like to spread them if you wish too. We better head back home now before this weather gets bad”. she says looking up at the sky. “Umma?” asked Maddison. Umma is what the girls called their Grand mother. “Yes Maddie”? she asked as she backed out of the parking lot. “Can we please stop by our house really quick? We will be extra careful. she paused the car. “Why would you want to go back there Maddie?” Maddison held back her tears. Her voice cracked as she spoke. “I want to lay our dad to rest.” Umma shook her head yes and proceed to down the road to their street. Maddison looked at her sister Beth and took her hand as they stood in the ashy burned bedroom. “Let’s go to the garage.” Beth wiped her tear soaked cheeks. “Why the garage.” asked Beth as she followed he sister down the unsteady stairs. Once in the garage Maddison handed Beth a shovel, which was the same shovel their dad used to dig and plant the bushes that sat beneath Beth’s bedroom window. “Come on let’s move fast. Umma is waiting….it’ll only be a small hole.” says Maddison as she began to dig. The girls stood back after they placed and covered the ashes with the moist dirt that clung to their hands. “We love you daddy. You can rest now.” said Maddison taking her sister’s hand walking towards their Grand mother’s car.

I did It… Yes I did

After 20 plus years living with my three guys, my girls our and two spoiled ass teacup chihuahua’s I finally mustard up the courage to post a picture of all of us on social media to where everyone can see Myself being in the middle of the group of all of my family. The only picture I have of us is in a private Poly group that myself and my in-laws are apart of along with a few other families that live in a few other states. It’s a small group and we have grown close over the years other then my other online group of friends. Ever since Robert passed away our group hasn’t been as active as it was when he was alive. I believe his death effected all of us in different ways and I pray that we come together again like we were… I love those people. My social media was once private with only my family and close friends having access to it…Is Now opened to public access mostly so I can reconnect with possible old school friends and neighbors and more of my community. I’m so sick of hiding our life behind close doors all of these years and yes I’m ready for the questions and possible judgement and ridicule. I’ll answer when nessary with pride and dismiss the other B.S. My parents will parents will have a cow but they will be proud of me in the same breath.. Yes I’m owning it and standing strong… Blue sky

Mr Joe…

The 55 year old Mr. Joe hobbled to his open garage as the glass sunk into his bloody bare feet. Standing outside his home finishing up his weekly beer with Martin the only colored neighbor who spoke to him on their long divided street. As they laugh about the big loss one of their opposing baseball teams proceeding to head to his garage and workshop. Two trucks pull up on the men with a groups of 7 young men throwing glass bottles on the ground. “Nigger lover that’s what you are Joe”. Is what one of the men yelled while the others threw the last of the bottles on the ground, one landing right in front of Mr. Joe’s feet. “Get the hell outta here, this is my street and who I talk to his my business”. Yelled Mr. Joe as he motioned Martin to go back to his side. The truck did a U turn when one of the men threw one last bottle at Martin, hitting him in the back of his head. “Get your ass in the house boy”. Yelled the men as they drove down the street into the darkness. Martin ignored their demands walking over to assist his bloody barefoot friend. “No Martin, get in the house, those assholes lyle be back and do worse…I’ll be fine, you go now”. said Mr. Joe as he hobbled to his garage grunting with each step he took. Joe being a widower living alone sat on his wooden bench nursing his bloody left foot picking slivers of glass out of of skin using a pair of needle nose pliers, Linda was Joe’s only true love of his life who laid in that hospital bed fighting for her life while in labor with their son. On the verge of dying while giving birth to there son she asked him to “Please raise there son right. To love the whole world, such as they did”. Joe promised her holding her hand as she took her last breath. Three days later the same rare infection his wife died of took the life their infant son. The next 10 years Joe stays to himself. Working at a utility company and going home, listening to just about every ball game that came across the radio not to mention going to watch his nephew’s little league games. As Joe head to his kitchen to collect bandages from under his kitchen sink his phone rang. His only brother on the line catching up with him about the latest family news and gossip while holding the phone on his shoulder bandaging his cut feet. “Listen Joe”. says his brother Donald. “Irene and me are looking into joining the other activists march for the that Parks woman.” said Donald. “Do you have fever? You mean to tell me the both of you are bringing Bobby in the mist of that chaos?” asks Joe as he tosses a bloody kleenex in the wastebasket. “No no of course not and that’s where you come in Joe.” Joe sits up and listens carefully. “We can’t bring Bobby with us.” says Donald taking a deep breath. “Then why the hell are you going?” asks Joe while reaching for his cigar case. “Listen Joe, what Irene and myself want to do is be apart of a good cause, we want to fight with everything we have for my son to see a better future for whites and coloreds to come together.” Joe took a deep breath. “What if your life is threatened ? You know lots of people have lost their lives Donald, fighting for such causes that seem not ever gonna happen.” Donald grunts.. “Joe it’s happened with you and Martin. I mean he was very reluctant to even wave to you when he collected your trash but the point is he did and now the two of you are practically best friends but Joe getting to the main reason why I called you is I really need your help Joe…..I need you to take Bobby in while we are away.”

Grounding myself: Yes own it Carmen

{Carmen} “Silence, yes silence this morning. So glad the guys are not needing me in the office today. Funny how there is never a closed sign at my office door. My coffee will be enjoyed at the shop while I polish my new oak tables. Thank you Robert for recommending us to Jeff for these tables…I’m almost to sure our customers will enjoy from intimate conversation to the latest gossip over these smooth reddish brown table tops. Why the hell do the kids want to name this shop after me? I guess it’s because of my signature cup of morning coffee with hint of cinnamon. Hell “Carmen’s Cafe” does have a nice ring to the bell. The guys are very understanding with me needing my space and time alone. My needing to process taking in your girls…and honestly it didn’t take me long to decide. I’m even prepared for the legal battles that are going to come with this. The girls are going to like it here . Yes it’s going to be a lot different then what they are used to but…I promise they will fall right in and are going to be loved just as much as you loved them Robert. (sobs while polishing a table by the rear window of the cafe) You were supposed to be here helping me polish and telling me your corny ass jokes over that crappy gas station mud you would drink over our group chats. Now I stand here in this empty remodeled cafe squeezing this overly oiled cotton cloth onto the table wiping away each tear that falls from my chin. I’ll keep you alive…through these tables,through our chats, through our memorized phone conversations and no matter what you will live through your girls… each and everyday when I see them grow older and look into their eyes I know it’s going to be you staring back at me. I love you Robert my immortal friend.”

What is it with Andy???

{Lilly} Mrs. Helen asked me Lilly a few days ago to come to her house this weekend for coffee if she had the time. The girls went fishing with their dad early Sat morning before dawn that warm spring morning. Lilly got out of her bed stretched her arms as she look out her partially open bedroom window. The morning was beautiful as she looked out the window up to the blue sky. The birds sang sweet music and her friends (as she called them) the squirrels sit and eat their breakfast that she laid out for them the night before. Lilly smiled to herself. “Oh I better let Mrs. Helen know I’ll be there in an hour” she says to her cat that lay on her white vanity. Taking a hot shower and throwing on her pink crop top and navy blue Capri jeans. Lilly head out the door jumped in her sky blue Toyota Corolla and off to Mrs. Helen she went. “Oh Lilly it’s so good of you to come this morning? I know you are ready for coffee.” said Mrs. Helen closing the door behind them. “Oh yes ma’am I haven’t had anything this morning except a glass of water”. says Lilly laying her purse on Mrs. Helen’s white and beige counter top. “Well in that case I’m glad I made some blueberry muffins along with some yogurt and fruit… Here’s a nice tall mug for you. Do you take creamer and sugar like me?” asked Mrs. Helen as she walked gracefully around her kitchen. Her kitchen was all white. The tall cabinets matched well with the silver oblong handles covering half of her long cabinet doors… Which matched well with the over sized stainless steel refrigerator. “Yes ma’am indeed I do. My mom and dad never misses a cup without either so I basically was raised on it. Now Andy no way. He takes it black with to much sugar… I have tasted his coffee and it’s pretty horrible but that’s how he likes it.” says Lilly taking a seat at their white Formica table that had been already set with 6 blueberry muffins, medium size white ramekin filled to be vanilla Greek yogurt a bowl on either side filled with strawberries and blueberries. Mrs. Helen places two hot mugs of coffee on the table on each end. Along with the powdered cream and sugar. “Everything looks so good Mrs. Helen thanks so much for inviting me.” says Lilly Mrs. Helen nods as she spoons cream into the pale white mug. “Not a problem Hun and if you want I have some croissant in the breadbox that I got from the deli at Luke’s grocery and they are divine. says Mrs. Helen as she sips her coffee. “Oh no this should be fine. It’s more then enough for the two of us, unless your husband is joining us?” asked Lilly sipping her coffee. “No he’s actually helping his brother today with the flooring in his kitchen.” says Mrs. Helen as she sips her hot drink. Mrs. Helen’s rings tap against her mug as she proceeds to ask Lilly…. “Say Lilly if I’m prying please stop me…but I couldn’t help but to think about Andy and how all that fit in with him and our waiter, you know at the Italian place?” Lilly bit into a sweet strawberry as she looked down staring at her wedding ring. “Well Mrs. Helen Andy has shared with me in the past and present about certain fetishes of his. I’m kinda embarrassed about talking about this to be honest…. ” Lilly clears her throat. “Well you don’t have to continue I think I can see where this is going.” says Mrs. Helen as she walks over to her purse pulling out the long white pack of Virginia Slims. “Do you mind if I have one? I always switch on the air purifier when I smoke.” says Mrs. Helen. “Oh sure no problem and I’m fine talking about it. I trust you. says Lilly. Mrs. Helen leans on her kitchen island pulling her clean glass ash tray close to her. “Long story short Mrs. Helen Andy wanted to see me with another man… like a fetish of his I suppose you can say but I couldn’t do it. I love Andy and I just couldn’t do it. I mean and Andy myself has explored our fantasies with each other in many ways but never involving anyone else until we met Tony. Andy knew I was attracted to him the moment we met him at the restaurant and Tony matched my energy.” says Lilly while chowing down on her blueberry muffin. Mrs. Helen shakes her head in understanding taking a long final drag of her slim…she heads back over to the table to sip more of her coffee. “You know what Lilly I only was with Roy for intimate reasons. Roy and I were together for two years and not one time did we sleep together. I admit to thinking about it a number of times and he even mentioned it but I never intended on going all the way with him and he has respected that.” says Mrs. Helen. Lilly sit back in her seat, she felt numb, her hands felt as if she can wring the sweat out of them. “Uh I honestly could never think there was a possibility of an affair with someone without the sex part…I mean isn’t an affair based mostly around sex?” asked Lilly “Not our relationship and that’s why I don’t classify Roy and I as having an affair with each other. It may have started that way in the beginning You know with meeting up and sneaking away to do so but after a few months to I’d say a year we have developed a full on relationship just without the sex part. So Lilly I believe what I’m saying is..yes it’s a relationship but more so a very very close friendship but not as close as my husband and I. My husband is the only one I could ever find myself giving myself to 100% so I can relate to how you felt with Tony. says Mrs. Helen biting into her soft overly buttered blueberry muffin. Lilly licked her dry lips. “Well that’s the thing Mrs. Helen… I have been having thoughts about Tony that I shouldn’t be and I’m on the fence about hooking up with him.. you know in that way?” Lilly dropped her head, staring down at her coffee mug. “This is a sticky situation Hun. I would just hate for your marriage to have gone on the rocks due to this. If I were you I would give this some deep thought and even if Andrew agrees to you and Tony getting together. I would still weigh out the pros and cons because once your in and the deed is done. Your marriage will never be the same. Believe me when I tell you this… Andy most definitely won’t look at you the same…Hey look at me and I have never slept with Roy but I assure you my husband knows that I’m a much different woman now that I have come clean about Roy.” says Mrs. Helen drinking the last bit of coffee. She raises up from the table heading towards the refrigerator pulling out the small carton of half and half that sits on the door. “Well girl… whatever you decide to do with Mr. waiter” (she giggles) Just make sure it’s what you want and not what your husband nor Mr. waiter wants. says Mrs. Helen returning to the table setting the carton next to the blueberry muffins. “Thank you Mrs. Helen and you are right for sure.’ says Lilly. They sat in silence for the next few moments. Enjoying and savoring every bite of blueberry muffin to the last drop of sweet creamy coffee. A sudden buzz came from Mrs. Helen phone. It was a text message from Roy. which read… Helen this is Ruby, Roy’s sister. He has been in a really bad accident and is asking for you. Can you please get here to St. Luke’s? He is in very bad shape. Mrs. Helen’s hands shook as she put her phone down. “Mrs. Helen is everything alright? asks Lilly in a concerned manner. Mrs. Helen stood from her chair and started to collect the empty dishes. “Lilly I’m so sorry, I have to cut this visit short. I have to get to St. Luke’s, Roy has been in an accident” says Mrs. Helen holding back the tears. “Oh my God I’m so sorry. If you want I can drive you, you seem so upset.” says Lilly helping to collect the last of the dishes. Mrs. Helen shakes her head no. “No Hun I’ll be fine enough.”

Under the Tree…

“Under the Pine tree at the end of my street is where I was told the milk man would be for our weekly supply of fresh milk. Our normal delivery man had no problem with picking up old bottles and dropping off new bottles at everyone’s home but Paul who is our normal guy was out of work due to having surgery on his back. Our postcard from the milk company meaning myself, my mom and my young daughter Elaine read the Following: “Dear customers i.e. Wilson street,

Your milk delivery route will be taken on by Henry Jenkins for the next two months. Please be courteous to this new driver and place your used milk bottles neatly in the crate while you wait at the end of your St. for your new order. Thank you for understanding our new current policy. signed, Morrie Dairy.” Lisa looked at her mom as she placed the cold card on their wooden coffee table. “Burr it is getting chilly now Oct is here mama”. said Lisa to her mother Doris. Doris sit in her rocking chair quilting a bedspread for a friend of hers she plays Bingo with. Elaine her only grand daughter a vibrant adventurous bubbly charming “when need be” 10 year old loves joining her grandmother when she goes to St.Luke’s Bingo hall once a week. It might have been a church basement but on every Tues and Weds it became the towns only Bingo Hall. Tues were for white players only and Weds were set for coloreds which took a large sum of money for the Pastor of St. Luke’s to approve of. “She can’t be in here.” said Willie a tall skinny browned skin man, who always wore a blue bucket hat as he collected the Bingo fee of .50 a game. “I’ll take four games Willie, I believe that’s two dollars”. said Doris while giving a sly smirk. Willie looks down at Elaine as he hands Doris her boards. I’m a really good server Mr. Willie sir. I can pour the drinks and pick up trash so you won’t have to hurt your back walking back and forth. I helped my daddy get ready for work every morning before he went to war and died I shined his shoes like a copper penny and brought him his first cup of magic. said the suddenly meek 10 year old while playing with one of her tightly plated ponytails. “Magic was his first cup of coffee of the day”.said Doris pulling Elaine’s head close to her chest. “Do you mine really well little Missy?” asked Willie. Elaine shook her up and down in rapped pace. “Okay well you can start by filling those cups that are lined up on that counter with the soda pop in the icebox”. said Mr. Willie tending to the next customer. “Yes sir. Right away.” says Elaine. The 4 foot 8 inch ponytail girl raced behind the ticket counter straight to the tall red and white ice box pulling out short bottles of coke ca cola two and a time. “She’s on a trial run Doris”. said Willie handing the last bingo player their material. Doris smiles at him before she takes her seat at the last round wooden table of the church basement. Margie short stubby woman in her 60’s who looked as if she could pass for a white woman with her red complexion and soft salt and pepper hair pulled neatly in a bun takes her seat next to Doris being her bingo partner and best friend for the past 20 years. With 12 players mostly every week Doris and Margie won one or two games every week with a jackpot being 10 dollars that was split between the both. Elaine scurry the floor back and forth every week picking up empty cups and filling bowls with peanuts raisins and pretzels that was always left from the white players the night before. Mr. Joe Doris and her families neighbor across the street always make sure they had snacks for the game on their night. He was one of the only white people on their long street that treated them no different because of their color. Lisa’s late husband became good friends with Mr. Joe and would have a beer with him as they talk sports. The bingo game always end at 8 with Willie sweeping the floor pushing in chairs as Elaine wiped the tables before heading out to her Nana’s car. Margie and Doris laugh on the phone that night as she talks to Margie about Elaine rushing to her bed when she stepped in the house coming from bingo. “I’m telling you honey chal she is worn the hell out” laughed Doris as she gets comfortable on their white over sized sofa. “Mama please let her sleep, don’t wake her”.said Lisa from the kitchen as she collects their empty milk bottles for tomorrow’s order. “Hush girl, that girl of yours ain’t going to hear a thing with all the running Willie had her doing tonight.” Lisa roll her eyes giggling at her mother. The sun hit Lisa’s face as she opened her eyes. “Fuck.” thought Lisa to herself as she jumped out of her full size bed. A word she wouldn’t dare say out loud. A word she learned from her late husband who was a garbage collector before being drafted by uncle Sam. Lisa pulled on her navy blue knee length skirt over her curvy thighs followed by her white blouse. Saturday morning and Lisa was the only one awake in her house trying to be as quiet as possible she collected the small crate of empty bottles and headed out her front door.

Who the hell is she or thinks she is??

(Carmen) I can’t help but feel an emptiness as if I’m grieving. I know I am, I feel as if I lost one of my guys, this is unbelievable and this spot in my room feels good to me my reading corner sitting in front of this window staring out looking upon our land our safe harbor or private world. Tears fall from my face on how I think about Robert on how he will never get to breath the fresh mountain air he looked forward to. The dinners he would look forward to sharing with us the laughter, the drama in the shop or the juicy gossip our shop guys like to spread. I’ve been sitting here past what I looked forward to. I told my family I just needed a little while to gather myself this morning especially after talking to Maddison last night. She wanted me to make a decision that I need to talk to my guys about. I want the guys to invite Maddison and Beth to live with us just as much as I want them to live with us. The girls are all for it when we spoke on video chat, they feel for them just as much as I do. Here comes my love Jeremy bringing in a cup of coffee I bet. “There’s something going on downstairs. You might not want to come down until I text you. says Jeremy handing me the hot white mug. “Uh so what in the world is going on babe and why do I have to stay up here?” says Carmen begining to to raise from her window seat. “It’s nothing and you are going through a lot right now, i’s not worth worrying about.” says Jeremy grabbing her shoulders. I look out my window and I see the top of a woman’s head. Her auburn hair sit on top of her head in bun as she walk fast to the shop in a aggressive manner. “Oh gosh angry customer huh?” Asked Carmen sipping her coffee. Jeremy shakes his head no. “Uh it’s more like someone is angry and cussing Chris and she’s not a customer.” Carmen set her warm mug on her oak nightstand and headed downstairs. Her thin white long sleeve shirt was snug on her full breasts and and down her slim back. Her black hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail. Carmen walks outside as Jeremy follows her trying to beat her to the shop. Walking past her was a woman shorter then her who had to be no more then 100 lbs wearing baggy blue jeans and a pink button down shirt covered in butterflies. Her hair pulled up in a bun showing off her full pale face. Her eyes looked to be blood shot Carmen thought as well as puffy. Carmen walk slowly to the shop to get a good view of Chris arguing with this woman. “Chris who is this and what is going on?” The woman walks out the shop slowly putting a cigarette in her mouth while she smirks at Chris. “Tell her Chris. Tell her who I am.” says the woman holding the unlit cigarette. “You need to get out of here Launa. We don’t have shit to talk about you need to leave I don’t owe you a damn thing and put the damn cigarette up there’s no smoking.” Carmen crosses her arms over her full breasts. Launa looks at her from head to toe with envy. “Chris I’m not leaving until you talk to me. I thought you wanted to be with me like you said and I’m not scared to say that in front of anyone you know. I have feelings to you know.” Carmen looked at Chris before putting her head down. Chris walks towards Launa and Carmen. “Thank God we don’t have any customers huh Austin?” Yells Jeremy to Austin. Austin shakes his head. “Launa I never told you I wanted to be with you in a sober mind. If I did I was so fucked up I didn’t know what I was saying. I mean did I repeat it when I sobered up?” asks Chris looking her in the eye. :You’ve been texting me you fucking bastard. You fuck me and think you can treat me like a piece of shit after that?” screams Launa. “You really need not to yell out here. This is our home, we have kids here and another family that lives down the way. Not to mention this is our job your standing at and a customer can be coming at any minute. So I think you should leave.” says Carmen pointing towards the road. “Look bitch I don’t know who you are but I’m talking to Chris. The person who says he wanted to be with me when he fucked me.” Chris’s face began to turn red. He felt heat going through his veins. Do you see her Launa? Can you fucking see? says Chris as he points to Carmen. “She is the one I love the one I have always loved the one I have been with since I was 16. You were a fuck and that’s it just a damn fuck when I was fucked up. I guess I’m caught. Yes Carmen I did get high when I went to Memphis but I haven’t ever since.” Carmen shakes her head up and down. “At least you came clean to what you did but I hope you are done with it Chris.” says Carmen. “Yes, no lie, promise ya’ll that.” says Chris as he looks around to Austin and Jeremy. “You should leave Launa. Sorry your feelings got hurt but this is our home and there is no place for you here”. says Carmen. “Nasty Bitch you think your better then me? You have two other men why the hell do you hang on Chris? He doesn’t want you anymore. If he did why did he fuck me in Memphis?” Carmen walked up to Launa’s face almost nose to nose. Chris prepares himself to cut in between the two women. “Oh yes, he may have fucked you at some hotel in Memphis. says Carmen as she puts a smile on her face licking her full lips. “But he makes love to me here at home and who knows the other’s might join in too depending upon my mood dear.” says Carmen. Launa steps back turns so get in her car. Carmen leans into her window “You know Launa you shouldn’t play with fire. You just might get burnt.” Says Carmen before walking back to the house.

Mrs. Helen advice would be nice…

(Lilly) As Mrs Helen and I sat comfortable in the drafty restaurant in that wide cushion booth seat. I knew she would get to this point of questioning me about Andy and my’s relationship. Well she just confined in me about her husband and Roy so I feel incline to do the same. I lean in closer to her with my cold wine glass half full in hand. “Well, Andy and myself have had a pretty good marriage. We have been together ever since we were teenagers we got married in our early 20’s and I pushed out 3 kids. We actually do very well in the financial department with him being a successful architect and the both of us being part owners of a nightclub.” Damn did I just spill those beans? Shit she’s going to want to know what club it is.” Lilly thought to herself. Mrs Helen leans back in her seat holding up a quick finger at me. She gestures for Tony to come to the table. “Hi thanks for coming over, I know I only requested one glass of wine but, can I have one more glass of the same kind please and just add it to my bill please.” Asks Mrs. Helen. Tony shakes his head. “No problem at all I’ll be back in a sec”. says Tony. “Sorry about that hon that wine was so delish and our visit is going so well I’m feeling very comfortable right now.” said Mrs Helen biting into a small plain strawberry. Tony returns almost instantly with two glasses of wine and a folded white napkin. He places the two glasses in front of each lady and the folded napkin next to Lilly’s glass. “It’s on the house ladies. The bottle was already open and it’s only necessary to finish it I’ve had a glass or two myself out of the same bottle so shhh.” He says holding his finger up to his mouth before nodding and walking towards the back. Mrs. Helen giggles and excuses herself to the bathroom from the all the wine she had been consuming. Lilly sends a quick text to Andy while she waits explaining that she’s still with Mrs. Helen and will be home in a little while. Once again the wine tastes so good on her tongue. The icy coldness going down her warm throat smoothly made Lilly feel cozy inside. That feeling is short lived when she knocks her glass over reaching for her vibrating phone coming from her outside pocket on her purse. “Shit I guess that’s my last glass for today.” Disappointment crept up when Lilly’s call was nothing but a scam recording. Picking up the napkin Tony left for her to wipe the liquid she noticed writing on it. It read “You look so sexy today. I wish you would reconsider that night”. Heat rushed through Lilly’s veins at just the thought of that night and how Tony made her feel. Mrs. Helen returned to the table with a smile. “I just about went all the way with our waiter one night and it was in front of Andy’s face. I couldn’t do it then but honestly I have been thinking about it ever since so I don’t know.” Mrs. Helen’s eyes widened before she took a huge gulp of her wine. “Well that’s something girl. What a pickle. Lilly hands Mrs. Helen the partially wine soaked napkin. “Looks like I’m not the only in a pickle.” says Mrs Helen biting a soft cold bread stick. “So your husband Andy didn’t mind you giving yourself to this man or when you attempted to at least.” asks Mrs. Helen with a certain look in her eyes. Lilly felt intimidated for a min not wanting to continue this conversation. Mrs. Helen squeezed her hand. “Lilly I grew up in a very religious household and it worked out for the way my parents raised us. The thing is we were never allowed to voice our feelings or even our own personality for that matter. It was pretty much controlling environment. I mean we were very much taken care of my sister and I but we really didn’t discover our own identities until we moved out of our parents home which was after the age of 25 for each of us” Says Mrs. Helen smoothing her parted hair down over her pale oval cheeks. Renee’s eyes widened when she heard that statement. “Yes hon my parents controlled my sister and I until the age of 25. My sister is 2 years older then me and when she got married to my brother in law Steven they proposed for me to come live with them which made sense being I was going to our small towns community college. Well my mother did not agree to it and found some kind of passage in the bible on how it wouldn’t be right for me to live with them. I don’t even remember what passage it was or even how she worded it but long story short I was an adult and I let my mother make my decision for me and was when I took a look in the mirror and said you have to stand your ground this is your life. So I started spending time with my sister over the weekends and long story short I met my husband during that time so Lilly what I’m saying is no one is perfect nor any relationship. Hell everyone lives different and we are all not going to live up to what society thinks how we should live.” says Mrs. Helen as sits up straight adjusting her sweater and pulling her hair behind her ears. Lilly squeezes Mrs. Helen’s hand. “Thank you. Mrs. Helen. thank you for being you.” Mrs. Helen nods her head in reassurance.

That sweet scent…

“I had to push him off of me. I had to get him off of me. That knock at the door. That sweet smell of those beautiful flowers that still hang on to dear life sit on my kitchen island in the beautiful glass square shape vase. Zen knocked a few times. I release myself from Joseph’s grip and quietly walk back to my room pulling on my shirt and pants. Joseph does the same, I watch him out the corner of my eye as I walk back into my open living room and kitchen area heading towards my front door.” Renee looks out her front door’s peep hole and notices Zen has walked away. She sighs in relief as well as feeling guilty. “I still love you Renee. You know this. It will never change and you know we are meant to be together no matter who you “Try” to date or screw or even go out with.” says Joseph as he straightened his collar. “He walks towards me as I still stood by my front door and I step back almost touching the door. “No. I do love you as a friend and yes maybe I let lust get in the way of my better judgment and my lack of sex for a long while but we are over and I only promised you I’d take care of Chipper that’s it. There’s nothing in our agreement about sex.” says Renee crossing her arms over her full breasts. Joseph looked at the time which read 8:19 p.m. “Well I have to get going. I have to leave out at 6 in the morning so I better get home and get some sleep.” says Joseph while picking up Chipper holding him close to his strong firm chest. “Okay well you know he’s going to be fine here and actually company for me and a playmate for my new chi puppy that will be ready for me in another week.” says Renee sipping on some ice cold wine she grabbed from her wine cooler beside her one tub kitchen sink. “New puppy huh? Let me guess it’s going to be a boy?” asks Joseph. Renee leans on the counter going unnoticed exposing her cleavage. “Yes of course. and all of his little toys and what knots are in the hall closet. I’m receiving him from a co worker who rescued a pregnant abandoned tan teacup that had him about eight weeks age so she’s going to be delivered to me in a day or two.” says Renee. “So how will this work while you are at work I mean with both dogs?” asks Joseph leaning on her white counter across from Renee. “Oh Lilly’s daughter is coming over after school to clean up pads and whatever mess he makes and she’s going to work with him a little on using the litter box and if that becomes to much for her there’s this older woman who works twice a week at the shop with auntie who willing to take care of him, so we will see how this goes it’ll be all good.” says Renee putting her right thumb up. “Well let me help you with payment after all I know Chipper will be right along with the little one tearing shit up just as he did when he was that age.” say Joseph pulling out his wallet. Renee held her hand up to stop him. “I got it Joey. Not necessary. Besides it’s my puppy that will be causing all the damage but I do plan on blocking off spots where they don’t need to be in here.” says Renee. Joseph stands up and puts his hands on his hips. “Well i’ll be off, so call me about anything, I need to get some sleep.” Renee set her glass down along with saluting him goodbye. Joseph shakes his head and walks out the door. Chipper lay on the couch in and out of sleep. Renee closes the door behind him. ‘Well looks like it’s just you and me.” Says Renee to chipper putting her hands on her hips before taking in more of her flowers sweet scent.